Anonymous

Is it OK to leave my baby so we can have a date night?

My husband and I will be celebrating our anniversary and we have an ebf seven month old. I have never been apart from him and he's very attached to me. I'd really like an hour or two (inbetween nursing) with my husband, but I feel anxious and unsure, even selfish about leaving my baby. He would be with grandma so I know he'll be OK, but is he too young to be away from me? Especially as attached as he is?

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  • amywaud
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    amywaud May 11, 9:17 PM
    It is absolutely, 100% OK to leave your baby for a few hours, especially in the care of grandma! It's OK precisely **because** you ARE so attached! The attachment he feels with you is what will make it OK for him to be apart from you. I know, it seems like a paradox, but it is completely try.

    I also believe that is not only Ok, but it is very important to leave your baby in the care of a loving and trusted caretaker from time to time. We want our babies to form attachments with as many loving caregivers as possible, not just mama. This teaches babies that the world is full of safe people who love him. This sense of communal security gives him even more confidence to grow and explore and thrive. The sooner you can start encouraging these secondary attachments, the safer and more confident your baby will feel in the world, and the more flexibility you and your husband will have. (And don't worry: mama is always #1 in baby's eyes, no many other healthy attachments he has :-). )

    When you think about it, this is truly the "natural" state: 10,000 years ago, your baby would have not only been attached to you, but would have grown up being passed around between grandmas and aunts and older siblings.

    Finally, it is so, so important to find time to nurture your relationship with your husband.

    Have a wonderful date night, and don't worry!
    Founder of NaturallyBorn. Two-time graduate of U.C. Berkeley. Mom of three amazing boys. Grateful daughter of two child development experts and marriage/family therapists.
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  • jl.campbell
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    jl.campbell May 12, 5:25 AM
    It is so very important and not to mention refreshing to have a few hours out with your husband! I understand how hard it is to leave your little one, as I feel the same way, but you will feel great when you return and your husband will greatly appreciate it! I always say that grandma is second best to mom so that is great that grandma can take your little one. Enjoy your night out!!
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